The mother who had another woman’s baby by mistake

Author:  Jenny Johnston
Source: Daily Mail

Carolyn was ecstatic when she became pregnant by IVF. But a bizarre mix-up left her facing a cruel dilemma

Just before the nurses took her newborn baby from her for the final time, they asked Carolyn Savage if she would like them to make up a ‘bereavement box’ for her to take home.

She said she would — well aware that, in time, mementos of the all-too-short moments she had spent with baby Logan would help her come to terms with her loss.

Carolyn recalls watching a nurse hold one little foot while a clay imprint was made; then smiling, somehow, for photographs, as Logan lay on her chest. In all, she spent 45 minutes with her ‘feisty little man’.

Seventeen months on, Carolyn talks of the ‘bereavement process’, concluding that she and husband Sean ‘have done anger and denial and depression. I think we are kind of in acceptance now, but it’s not an altogether straight line’.

Anyone who has lost a child might feel they recognise the emotions the Savages are charting today. But they cannot possibly. For the tragedy is not that baby Logan is dead. He is just someone else’s son.

Logan was the result of an unthinkable IVF mix-up. Although Carolyn carried him for nine months, genetically he belonged to another couple….. Continue reading

Carolyn & Sean Savage

Learn more about Carolyn & Sean’s  inconceivable choice in their recently published book Inconceivable

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Goodbye Baby

Book: Goodbye BabyGoodbye Baby: Cameron’s Story’, a gentle and uplifting storybook which has been beautifully illustrated by Lindsay MacLeod.

The book provides comfort, understanding and reassurance for young children who have been affected by miscarriage in the family. Based on conversations between Gilliand and her son, Cameron, who was the inspiration for the story, ‘Goodbye Baby’ offers a platform for discussion with children.

‘Goodbye Baby’ is available to buy from Saint Andrew Press http://www.standrewpress.com/

‘Goodbye Baby’ has been endorsed by The Miscarriage Association:
“Beautifully written and illustrated, this wonderful book is a must for children and parents who need to talk about miscarriage but just can’t find the words.

If you or someone you know has been affected by miscarriage, please visit the Miscarriage Association for more information and support. Their website is http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Deafening Silence

Baby's Crib + New Paint Job

Image by tofslie via Flickr

Recently decorated nursery, closed door
Freshly washed baby clothes, unworn
A mother’s love, empty arms
Vacant crib, devastation
Bereavement, the edge of sanity
Deafening silence, melancholy

© Sue Edmondson 2010

Baby Bereavement Awareness Film Needs Your Support

The director of Peekaboo Debbie Howard of Big Buddha Films is asking for your help to fund her latest short film. In her video Debbie introduces the cast and gives a brief description of the story line.

Stillbirth and miscarriage are such taboo subjects that they are rarely coverage by the film industry. The sheer lack of openness to discuss baby bereavement and it’s tragic effects on parents and their immediate family often means that friends will avoid contact with the family not because they don’t care but because they don’t know how to deal with the situation and can not find the words to convey their sympathy.

Some people are so terrified of saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all and as a result the grieving parents are subjected to even more pain as their baby’s existence is left unacknowledged as though their baby had never been conceived.

 


If you would like to show your support then please visit the Peekaboo sponsorship page for more information.

Lifting the shroud of stillbirth

In modern day society there are very few taboo subjects, unfortunately stillbirth is still considered an unmentionable subject. Film makers Big Buddha are in the process of making a new film to highlight the heartbreak and silence that often surrounds babies that are ‘born asleep’. The tragic loss of a baby is an extremely difficult time for parents and their family members.

 

Baby born asleep

Model is a reborn baby doll

 

In addition to experiencing the traumatic loss of a child at birth, parents also have to deal with people not knowing what to say, many not even acknowledging that they had a baby at all.  Coping with this wall of silence can make the loss of their baby that much more difficult to bear

Whilst there are several bereavement support groups available more needs to be done to increase public awareness and understanding of the emotional trauma and its lasting effects on parents who have and still do suffer the loss of their baby.

The new film, Peekaboo, is a high profile, short narrative film that looks at the issue of stillbirth and the psychological trauma that surrounds it.

Prem2Pram is delighted that as a result of our donation we will receive an associate producer credit on the film.

If you’d like more information regarding the film, it’s makers or how you can help then please visit Big Buddha

Baby bereavement cards & premature baby burial gowns

Expressing ones sympathy to parents who have suffered the tragic loss of a baby is one of those difficult situations.  You want to show your sympathy, to let parents know that you care and that you are thinking of them in their time of sorrow.  However the words don’t come easy and family and friends are often at a loss, not knowing exactly what to say.

To help family and friends during these difficult times we have commissioned a selection of hand crafted baby bereavement cards.  Each card is lovingly hand made with a verse on the front of the card which reads..

Sending our heartfelt sympathy as your
little angel spreads their wings in heaven.

The verse inside the card that reads..

If we knew life would bring us pain.
Would we live each day with a sigh?
Sleeping peacefully with the Angels.
Upon God’s clouds so high.

Baby loss bereavement cards

Baby stillborn sympathy cards

Each card comes with it’s own envelope and is sealed in a clear cellophane card pocket.

Nothing can ever prepare you for the tragic loss of a baby, whether you or a family member have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth or baby sadly passes away shortly after birth the grief is the same.  You are left feeling grief stricken, isolated and confused, which is why we have taken the worry out of finding dignified burial clothing for babies’ final sleep.

Our complete baby bereavement clothing sets are designed for easy dressing and have snap fastenings down the back of the garment. Available in sizes 0-1lb, 1-2lbs, 2-3lbs, 3-5lbs and 5-8lbs.

Please note: We do not use real babies as models; instead we use reborn baby dolls.

Baby burial gowns

Visit Prem2Pram the online baby store http://www.prem2pram.co.uk

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Premature Baby Burial Gowns

Sadly not every pregnancy has a happy ending; in fact 17 babies are born asleep or die shortly after birth every day in the UK.  Over the last couple of days I have created these baby burial gowns, available in various sizes, which are made of beautiful broderie anglais fabric with delicate swan lace trim, which would be perfect for any baby’s final sleep. Created with love and the encouragement of Caron of www.CarLisaCrafts.com, a lady who creates beautifully personalised cards and gifts for angel families. I hope you like them and that these may go a small way to helping a family during a very difficult and emotional time.

Please note: The model in the image below is a reborn doll and not a real baby.

Premature baby burial gown

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